Lost and Found

about a month plus ago, CK and i sat down at Carl's Junior at PS after he sold his old guitar and bought a new one. we started talking after I've got my drink.. we talked and talked and talked.. for 2 whole hours. Shortly before we left Carl's Junior @ PS, he gave me a paper flower which he made for me out of a serviette. Though it's just a normal paper rose, but to me, it's the first time a guy gave me a flower which he made himself.

Why i titled this entry lost and found's cuz when i reach home, i placed the rose at my desk.. no.. i kept it in my bag for a few days before taking it out and place it on my study desk. However, the very next day after i have placed it on my desk, i couldnt find it anymore.. so i thought my mum threw it away.. at that point of time, i was really really upset.. not cuz i'm upset with my mum throwing it away, which i dun blame her at all.. cuz it was like.. a piece of serviette? anyway, my mum never throw away our stuff before asking us.. anyway.. so ya.. i was thinking to myself.. thank god i took a picture of it that very night i placed it on my study desk. and i was upset cuz at that point of time, CK and i have aldy stopped talking for quite some time. not say completely stop talking but, exchanged very little smses and calls from him or from me to him were very little. overnight. and that paper rose and the s'pore flyer ticket and my memories of us tog were all that's left.

Then, last night, i saw the paper rose! it was there standing straight in one of my container (box) on my study desk! i was like! THE PAPER ROSE!!!!! i thought mummy threw them away!! i was so happy!!! cuz like i've mentioned earlier, i thought my mum threw it away a month ago.. but anyway, i didnt ask her abt it.. 1stly, she'll question, 2ndly, she'll then tell me abt how she never touches our stuff, lest to throw away our stuff. i really appreciate her respect towards her children and family.

However, when i looked at the paper rose, though it was still in good shape, however, it's not as good or as new as it was before.. that sets me thinking abt Ck and i. yea.. initially, we were really close and we had mutual feelings abt each other, however, when some things are lost, in this case, a r/s, even if u were to find it again, it may not be as good as how it was back then. So what even if i were to find back the paper rose he made for me? it doesnt mean tt he'll be back by my side like we used to be.. we were never really were tog. but.. the memories, places, conversations, and the time we'd shared tog, i'll never forget. though up till today, the question abt why did he suddenly turned so cold towards me still bothers me.

Although as of tt time till now, we did exchange smses/ msn msgs sometimes, but things were VERY different. maybe.. maybe.. he's just not the one for me? maybe it's not the season yet? i don't know. and nobody knows.. he's starting school soon.. which means he'll be staying in hall soon.. i'll never forget the way he told me at Carl's Junior tt time, "When sch start, i'll be staying in hall. and that means i won't have time for you" haizz.. why? god? why? when i thought i've finally found someone whom i really like and likes me too.. everything was going on smoothly.. till weeks before his first NTU orientation camp, everything changed. overnight. did i do smth wrong? was it smth tt i said? why?