just finished chatting with my darling on the phone. He had a really really long and tiring day today. Due to the DSTA scholarship, he had to go through quite a number of different types of training sessions. From grooming to culinary courses. :) although tiring, but i really appreciate my darling for squeezing out the last bit of the energy which he'd left and we had a pretty long yet meaningful and fruitful conversation (as usual, and i really Thank God for this) before i do my QT then hit my books again before gg to bed.
The world is so so small.. he met a friend from today's course. and you wouldnt believe it. This was a friend whom i knew a yr ago and lost this friendship due to some misunderstandings. that said, i shall not go in depth into it. It was wad had happened abt a yr ago and i do not want to think about it or talk about it anymore. a friendship lost, period.
now as the title suggests, this is an entry which i would like to talk about some personal reflections i had made throughout the months since the beginning of the year till now. many many thoughts raced through the tiny head of mine when i was chatting with my darling. And i really really, deep down, from the bottom of my heart, want to thank the Lord who has so graciously provided, changed me, and moulded me to what i am today. No, i'm not anybody great or famous. nothing of that sort. but, the fact that i had changed for the better, and is growing closer and closer (trying my best) to God each passing day. i've learnt how to count my blessings instead of complaining about why things didnt turn out the way i want it to? why i didnt get the guy i want (in the past), as in, why is everybody attached and not me? and so forth. i was just telling wenyao the other day that just a couple of weeks ago, i looked back at the photos that i had taken during the past 2 yrs, i seriously didnt realise that i am that wild. yes. chui ting WAS wild. clubbing, drinking, partying.. it all started during the 2nd half of the yr of last yr till the end of last yr. I was invited to a couple of 21st birthday parties, gg clubbing with friends, drinking (alcohol) and dancing to loud music in clubs and making lots of new (guy) friends. that whole period of time, i was so so spiritually dry. such a disappointment in God's eyes.
But i thank God that EVERYTHING changed, when pastor susan told me that she'd prayed about it and have decided to put me to be a co- cooridinator together with Jin Cong to lead a team in the Children's Ministry which i have been faithfully (by the grace of God) serving in for the past 2-3 yrs. Taking up the responsibility of a coordinator (eventually) is not easy. The first and most important thing is not my leadership qualities BUT! MY OWN SPIRITUAL WALK WITH GOD. In order to feed (spiritually) the children, you must first be well fed in His words and walk in the way of the Lord. Which i must say, i hadnt done a very good job so far, but, i'm willing to try and give my best to God.
Ever since i knew wenyao, as time passed, month after month, God used him to change me. for the better. I am proud and confident to say that (i told wenyao this too) since the day we got together till now, we have not have had a single quarrell. still in the honeymoon period after 5 months of us getting together and is still gg strong. all because we are both not very hot tempered people and we are ever so ready to talk things out nicely and factually and honestly. right from the beginning, both of us were very honest with each other. He knew about the tattoo (one of my biggest regrets in life) even before we were together. so many times, i want to get rid of it. but one dear friend in church once told me, if leaving it on serves as a reminder for me that by doing things without thinking about the consequences, then whether i get rid of it or not doesnt matter. either way, it had left me a scar. a lesson learnt. Wenyao never fails to give me small reminders about the nitty gritty stuff that i shouldnt do as a christian, as a child of God. Things such as controlling my own tongue (gossips, complains, hurtful words etc). but! he too never fails to encourage me, compliment me of the things i did right and did well. we have come to learn how to love each other despite the distance (although s'pore not exactly very big i must say) and the busy schedules throughout these few days especially. He was busy with his DSTA scholarship stuff, i was busy studying for my exam and preparing and doing the admin stuff for our annual children's ministry's retreat next sat.. and yes, i'm trying hard to take note of my grammatical errors when i speak, and he's been trying to help correct me.
I thank God for wenyao. for accepting me for who i am. for loving me for who i am. for being so patient with me. for listening to all my stories about what my children in class did in sch and so forth. everyday. everyday i see his picture on my phone, i cant help but to acknowledge and agree with him how good our God is. how wonderful, and beautiful this relationship is that ONLY God can give to us. I thank the Lord for His unconditional love He has for us as His children, His never ending grace that He keeps exentding out to wenyao and myself. That self-less Him, that unselfish love, a love that only God can give.
Prayer:
Father in heaven, i thank you for this day. thank you so much for all that you have graciously gave us and blessed us with. You have blessed me with a loving family, loving parents and sisters, a wonderful cell leader Adrian and his family. Thank you God for this servant of yours who has been and is still is faithfully serving you as my cell group leader throughout the years. I i thank you Lord for putting wenyao into my life. For blessing me with such a loving dear and eventually husband. Who always puts me first after you and his family. i pray Lord father that you continue to pour your blessings over my family, each and everyone of them. my dad, my mum, chewy, san, yee, even my extended family. my relatives. especially those who still hasnt come to know christ. I pray Lord Father that you will continue to bless my cell group leader Adrian and family and my cell group. You continue to guide us and be in our midst during bible study and cell group discussions. be with each and every single one of us each day. That we will remember You in all that we do and say. That we will only say of the good things to glorify Your name and Your kingdom. That we can be Your lighthouse in our own family, with our friends, in our schools, in our workplace and in our ministry. Use us mightily so that we may glorify You. continue to strengthen this beautiful relationship which You have graciously entrusted upon wenyao and myself. Let not the distance and time difference be a hinderance to us. Let us build a strong foundation, to builld our relationship on Christ and may it be a Christ-centred one. Everything is possible with You and You only. With God, nothing is impossible. I thank you God and i pray all these in Jesus' most precious and Holy name, Amen.
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